Listen: Giving and Receiving

Both take grace

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

I had a conversation with a dear friend the other night that was not particularly pleasant. My friend was pointing out that I “work too much.” Among other things, he said that don’t spend enough time with my friends outside of work. And... “What If, God forbid, something would happen to you? Would someone come to look for you? Why don’t you take one COMPLETE day off? God tells us to keep the Sabbath a day of rest and to keep it Holy...You don’t take a single day off…ever.”

The conversation went on for several hours.

So, looking for a Spiritual prompt for my substack, I put the word ‘fellowship’ into my OpenBible.info concordance. While I was scanning the page of verses, Proverb 27:17 rather popped off the page.

The concept of ‘iron sharpening iron’ implies that when two pieces of iron strike each other, the piece that is struck is transformed, as when an anvil sharpens a hot piece of straight metal into a knife or a spear.

When a friend wants to help us grow and truly wants what is best for us, it is imperative to become a good listener. Accept their counsel, advice, or constructive criticism with an attitude of grateful acceptance. Be humble and take it in.

It took courage for him to speak up; It took a similar amount of courage to not react, not be offended, and to let it “sink in.”

It was iron shaping iron… making me into something better.

A similar verse is Proverbs 6:4 - “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

The verse speaks for itself: It is better to accept well-meaning, albeit bitey advice from someone we know, someone we love, someone who truly cares, than to accept the flattery from someone just trying to win our favor.

Friends – and family members - may indeed “wound” us at times, but if we appreciate their genuine concern and take it as ‘tough love,’ we will grow exponentially as a result. We need close relationships to point out our blind spots. Meaningful relationships grow from loving, constructive conversations. Iron striking hot metal – both pieces must work together. Healthy relationships are never a one-way street.

If you are GIVING the advice – such as trying to warn people we love about the serious health consequences of these shots or that they need to pay attention to ways the Central Bank Digital Currency will enslave us for life - be sure to check your tone. Be sure your words are loving and try to eliminate any judgmental tone.

If we are RECEIVING the advice, be an active listener. Know your friend took a great risk to speak up, perhaps even risking the end of the relationship.  

The Holy Spirit Convicts and the Word of God Sharpens

God can use the “wounds of a friend” to sharpen us, motivate us, and provide some accountability for our choices. God can use the process to improve our walk for Him.
Even better, if we embrace the rebuke and use it to find answers in God’s Word, He will help us “course correct” through instructions directly from Him.

As most of you know, my life is like living in the middle of a tornado, day in, day out, week after week. As I say, “the inbox never stops.” For my entire life, work, travel, and play form an interesting and continual blend. I have never had an “on/off” switch delineating a separation between work and play activities. In fact, Kevin always said, “Sherri never really goes on vacation; she just goes to work in nice places!” – which remains totally true.

But keeping the Sabbath Holy is something that has been commanded and something we all need to pay closer attention to. Taking time to develop a few close friendships is also something I should probably work on...but that requires a much longer explanation…and the phrase, “It’s complicated” certainly applies!

I know my friend cared enough about me to share his observations. It’s the best thing about a true relationship: taking a risk to show someone how much you care.

TODAY’S PRAYER

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for providing human companions as we sojourn through Earth School. The admonishments from a friend – said with love and kindness – need to be transmuted into action for a better world, a better way to live, a better way to serve You.

Lord, forgive our harsh words and defensive responses. Help us to be better representatives of You and Your Kingdom. Help us to love more openly, in the way You have loved us. Help our words and suggestions to resonate better with friends and family... and help us to be better, non-reactive listeners when that ‘constructive criticism’ comes our way. Help our relationships to be more like Proverbs 27:17, iron sharpening iron, so we can help each other grow and submit to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.