After the craziness that many go through over family gatherings, I would add two pieces of advice I gave to my children and grandchildren in an essay I wrote for them.
-Forgive, But Don’t Forget
Forgiveness of those who hurt you costs nothing.
Holding a grudge can cost plenty in terms of peace of mind and loss of a friend or family member’s company.
Forgetting can leave you open to being hurt again.
-Apologize, Sometimes Even When You Are Not Wrong
I never want to hurt anyone but sometimes it happens. I’m quick to apologize to put things right and preserve a relationship.
Sometimes, however, I can be right yet my words cause hurt. I remember one time where a relative suggested suing the military after my father-in-law died from a smoking related illness. He said the military gave him cigarettes and was therefore responsible. I popped up and pointed out that the military didn’t force him to light and smoke the free cigarettes. The hurt was evident on this relative’s face and I felt terrible about it. That night, I couldn’t sleep until I set things right but I truly believed that what I said was correct. I did apologize but not for what I said, I wrote a sincere apology letter expressing my regret that my words had hurt him. He was very happy to receive the letter!
That was not the only time that I sent a letter of apology for something that I did or said that I believed to be true but someone close to me was upset. In all cases, I apologized for what my actions caused and not for the actions themselves. Maintaining family and friend relationships is that important!
After the craziness that many go through over family gatherings, I would add two pieces of advice I gave to my children and grandchildren in an essay I wrote for them.
-Forgive, But Don’t Forget
Forgiveness of those who hurt you costs nothing.
Holding a grudge can cost plenty in terms of peace of mind and loss of a friend or family member’s company.
Forgetting can leave you open to being hurt again.
-Apologize, Sometimes Even When You Are Not Wrong
I never want to hurt anyone but sometimes it happens. I’m quick to apologize to put things right and preserve a relationship.
Sometimes, however, I can be right yet my words cause hurt. I remember one time where a relative suggested suing the military after my father-in-law died from a smoking related illness. He said the military gave him cigarettes and was therefore responsible. I popped up and pointed out that the military didn’t force him to light and smoke the free cigarettes. The hurt was evident on this relative’s face and I felt terrible about it. That night, I couldn’t sleep until I set things right but I truly believed that what I said was correct. I did apologize but not for what I said, I wrote a sincere apology letter expressing my regret that my words had hurt him. He was very happy to receive the letter!
That was not the only time that I sent a letter of apology for something that I did or said that I believed to be true but someone close to me was upset. In all cases, I apologized for what my actions caused and not for the actions themselves. Maintaining family and friend relationships is that important!
Thank you for the lovely reminders. We oftentimes forget to be grateful for those things that go as planned and bring us such joy.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.