Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Natalie Joy's avatar

This post has such deep meaning to me, particularly in this season of my life.

For almost 20 years I have faithfully cared for my medically fragile daughter whom was given a max life expectancy of 3-5 years.

The JOY of being her mother has been the greatest gift of my life. But the agony of caring for a 100% dependent child in every way for that long has equally taken its toll.

The seizures, the surgeries, the sleepless nights, the sadness of “what could have been” mixed with the Joy of just seeing her live to see another day.

It’s almost more than a mamas heart can take.

I have two more daughters now, ages 6 & 7, and nothing can prepare you for “mothering” one child in the dusk of their life, and two in the dawn of theirs.

We find ourselves in the wildness like Abraham now as we fight for her life, but question why that has to include relentless suffering as her body breaks down.

Wanting her to run to the arms of Jesus, but clinging to her to remain and fight as long as possible.

Being raised a Christian has given me a compass and truth for which I am so so grateful.

But I still find myself shaking my fist at points screaming “why her” she is so innocent?

Why does she have to shake and scream from the seizures, she has done nothing wrong?

Why? Why? Why?

Then I am reminded of what Jesus endured, and also what his father had to endure on OUR BEHALF. It quickly humbles and quiets the noise, and I am reminded that this is the mere definition of FAITH.

Can I TRUST God is still good?

Can I BELIEVE his purposes are greater than her (and our) suffering?

Can I HOPE for things to come when today is dark as night?

My faith is no longer just words in a good book. It is the desperate cry for understanding when nothing makes sense.

And in my often restless heart, I hear the “still small voice” reminding me...

HIS heart breaks more than mine at her suffering.

HIS hands are holding her broken spirit even when I cannot see them.

HIS love is deeper and wider than I can even imagine.

HIS mercy is never ending.

So I CHOOSE to get up and keep on walking, KNOWING ONE DAY IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE.

And in my heart, I know there will be many souls that will celebrate with us in heaven because of having met and been impacted by a little girl who NEVER SPOKE A WORD.

Praise be to God. I can rest in this PROMISE. 🤍

Expand full comment
James Mangano's avatar

Thank you Dr.T for sharing that story, we all need to be reminded more often of our great GOD'S love for us, even Sacrificeing his own Son on our behalf, JESUS, no greater display of love has ever been shown to mankind, yes GOD loves us this is true.

Expand full comment
28 more comments...

No posts